Saturday, December 05, 2009


(On impulse I shaved my head for the opening plenary on Dec 3rd)

The morning after the opening plenary, the Parliament of World Religions convened in Melbourne. This event happens every five years, in a different international city each time.

On the first day, I attended a morning dual Catholic-Buddhist meditation focused on the concept of breath in either religion, then a panel on Paganism as the lost indigenous traditions of Europe (and thus the true ancestral spirituality of caucasians). I followed this with an excellent panel discussion on Middle-East conflict resolution, with both Palestine and Israel represented, and ended the day attending a talk on the history of the growing global Interfaith Movement.

This represented about 5% of the programs being offered on that day alone.

There were thousands upon thousands of participants from every religion you've ever heard of, and some you probably haven't.

I was very quickly realized I was in over my head...

Monday, November 30, 2009

"Victory on the Other Side of the Earth"

Crossed the 50,000 word threshold in Melbourne this afternoon 3 hours before the deadline of midnight Pacific Time. That it is technically late afternoon the following day here in Australia doesn't affect the 30 day deadline, although it does contribute to a great feeling of disorientation, as I type this on the first day of Summer, here on our planet's southern hemisphere.

I had intended to finish Sunday afternoon before getting on the plane, but instead finished packing only to learn my sister Kate's passport was missing. The rest of the day was absorbed in that unhappy drama, which culminated amazingly with the rest of us leaving her behind as we drove to the airport, heavy hearts all around. (She will be joining us later this week).

So, off the 15 hour flight, an hour through customs, another hour to Uncle Bob's house in the suburbs, a meal resembling breakfast though it was lunchtime in Australia and dinner time in LA, and then with no time to spare I shut myself away and began typing, determined to cross the finish line before the clock struck midnight on the far side of the Pacific.

I am glad at having done what I said I would do, and thrilled and curious and dubious about the sprawling saga that has spilled out of my fingers over the last 30 days ... I may have met the official deadline, but this story is far from over. Now at last a little time can be taken to gestate - to get a firm handle on the trajectory of the story, it's characters and themes. My first novel "Tale of the Tribe" was about 60,000 words and took about 14 months to generate a first draft ... this process has been, in a word, different.

Still I wouldn't trade it. discovering the world of this story and meeting Anka, Trevor, and Tamreh is something that never would have happened without the unique parameters of this process. One must surrender control to some degree in order to do something like this, and it is fascinating to find what storytelling lies behind the unfiltered mind. Just as reading a good novel, as Ursula Leguin puts it, "leaves us a little changed" - writing a novel is an inevitable catalyst for change.

The Parliament of World Religions holds its opening ceremonies in two days. Now that I'm here and getting some sense of the scope of the event, I am feeling a little overwhelmed.

And, now that the pressure is off, I hope the writing keeps coming, and all the richer, if perhaps not quite so fast.

My utmost gratitude for everyone's support along the way.

total word count: 50,055
Words to go: only time will tell...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


(Self-Portrait in Newport on November 9th)
"Eyes of the Octopus"


1000 miles driven in 36 hours!

Back in LA ... haven't written a word in two days, with six days to finish.

Sunday was the "Oregon All-State Write-In" held at the Oregon Coast Aquarium ... a beautiful establishment which is, coincidentally, only a five minute drive from the house. The day was spent surrounded by five dozen other novelists - and seals, sea lions, otters, sea-birds, many many fish, and the most pro-active and metamorphosey octopus ever to cross my path.

Our writing room sported an enormous window into the shark tank, and taking this motif a step further many of us went and wrote in the glass "shark encounter" tunnel as the hours wore on (it was here that I introduced politics to the story). Long stretches of time were spent peering at puffins, interacting with an adorable otter who seemed to be in love with me (only later seeing the sign declaring that the otters were very hormonal this time of year and should not be interacted with through the glass), and also meeting the aforementioned pacific giant octopus - which defied the hiding-in-the-corner tendency of her brethren by dancing about the enclosure, changing shape, color and texture, and gazing at me as though she held some inscrutable message from beyond.

I wrote almost exactly 2,500 words ... far below my goal for the event, but still more than enough to feel proud of. It was a pretty spectacular day.

Alas, when I got back to the house gravity beckoned, and I started cleaning ... the place had to be hotel-sterilized prior to departure because we have a family renting it for Thanksgiving. This took many, many hours. Early the following morning I departed Oregon, heading south for Berkeley, with a heart both saddened and renewed.

Words to date: 43,037
words to go (?): 6,963
days until Australia: 5

Thursday, November 19, 2009

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 19th 2009 - Newport

So obviously I've made a decision to back off the blog a bit. I created it on impulse, imagining that doing all this publicly would create a wave of shared excitement, support, and accountability which would energize the process. The reality of it, on the psychic level, is that it's a bit of a drain. Like leaving your front door open to the busy street when you're trying to focus and get something done. It also feels a little exploitative - writing is such a personal process, it's an odd thing to just indiscriminately invite everyone in at once. Too often, writing about writing the novel starts to muscle in on actually writing the novel.

It can be such a thrilling journey of discovery, writing a story - and I want to bring everyone with me. But, the truth is, the only way to do that really is to have you all read it from beginning to end, not my running commentary and random soundbytes.

I will admit, that ever since taking sick in Seattle (and I'm still not completely recovered) - I have run into a bit of writers-block-crisis. As usual, it comes from me taking the book, and everything, too seriously. There is literally a part of me that thinks if this isn't going to be Lord of the Rings, it isn't worth writing. Those who are aware of this element of my personality probably hate me for it. But the truth is, it's really a curse and a sickness. I have a monstrous super-ego which demands nothing less than total, utter brilliance in my artistic works. There is no way to be truly creative under that kind of pressure and the whole process quickly devolves into a slave-driver mentality. The thirty-day time limit on this particular project has really flushed that devil out. This "facing the devil" is something I might think about being grateful for - if I can find a way to overcome it and not just stop dead in my tracks, another sad case of ego swallowing art.

Wish me luck.


Word count: 33,110
Words to finish (?): 16,890

Monday, November 16, 2009

8:30 AM

Hard to say how bad it is, because I'm so doped up on thera-flu, but I spent the last 12 hours in bed and there is definitely still some junk in my lungs. Alas, Seattle, I will have to take a rain check...

3:19 PM

Five and a half hours and over 300 miles from Seattle to Newport under cover of rain storm. When I got in the door I was so light headed I had to lie down. I am sick, sick sick.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 15th 2009 - SEATTLE

5:45 PM

I'm afraid I might be getting sick. I got into Seattle a little past 11 AM and as soon as I got out of the car I could tell something wasn't quite right. It was neither the cold nor the wet, but their combination.

I went to the big "Seattle mid-way write-in" and it just completely rubbed me the wrong way. I wasn't into the vibe at all - it was totally crowded and I didn't feel like the general approach to writing in the room had much in common with my own. Also, there was an unbelievable amount of talking - in fact there was a podium and a microphone which was used frequently, punctuated by ten minute writing "sprints" during which there was a general competition to see who could produce the most words before the ten minutes was up, and the talking commenced again. I am a fan of just letting the writing flow, but for me, ten minutes is barely time to get warmed up.

by 3:30, I was beginning to feel seriously ill - not sure if it was the vibe, the icey-wet outside, the lack of sleep, or all of the above, but visions of swine flu were dancing in my head, so I headed for my hostel, checked in, and crashed into bed. Hopefully with some good rest I will nip this in the bud...

Saturday, November 14, 2009

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 14th, 2009 - PORTLAND

9 PM -

Sitting in a 24 hour coffee shop in Southeast Portland, at the biggest write-in I've come across yet. There must be at least 30 people here, typing away, trying to hit 50,000 words by the 30th. It's a little weird. "It rains a lot here and we have to do something," said the woman sitting next to me.

Yesterday was the first day since starting that I didn't write a single word (or, for that matter, post to this blog) - there are many reasons for this, including having to clean out the Newport house for renters coming in, the drive to Portland, and an encounter with a small amount of Absinthe the night before, which despite being small nevertheless somewhat knocked the wind out of my sails.

But also, I might have just needed a break. If I am somehow making this look easy, I'm sorry to say, I've got you fooled. It's because of experiences like this that I know what the word "angst" means.

Word count is still very healthy at about 28,000, but somehow I still have not finished Ch. V "Wasteland" yet - it just keeps expanding - to the point where I've had to divide it into sub-chapters (which I also did for the ultra-long Ch. IV "Tribe"). I endeavor now to finish this chapter in the hours ahead...

11:35 PM

At last, "Wasteland" is done, and with it, book one. It ends exactly as I've been planning to end it for over a week, with the introduction of the time-traveller Karillion.

I balk somewhat at my own audacity in introducing time travel 29,000 words in. But, the story wants what it wants, I suppose. It will be an interesting struggle to incorporate this somewhat fantastic sounding new tangent and still maintain the serious and sophisticated tone of the piece under which I have thus far labored.

Who knows! All I know is this is a lot of work. And, during the actual writing, a lot of fun. However, for some reason I continue to have trouble not angsting-out in-between writing sessions. I wish my therapist were here.

Tomorrow morning I'm driving to Seattle.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 12th, 2009 - NEWPORT


Another productive day (well, evening) - dove into Chapter V "Wasteland" and wrote about 4000 new words, which still fell a couple climactic passages short of finishing the chapter. "Wasteland" ends book one: "The Long Road Away From Home" and the next chapter will begin book two: "Ankharra."

This puts me officially over the half-way word quota of 25,000 - and one day ahead of schedule, no less.

The thing is, even though I've crossed the half way word count for National Novel Writing Month, I'm not sure if this really feels like the half-way point in the story - more like part one out of three - which would put my total word count closer to 70,000 then 50,000. I feel like "The Long Road Away From Home" is this wonderful set-up and it would be a shame to wrap it all up too quickly. Part of me wonders if this will become a whole trilogy, but that would be a LOT of work, and I don't want to get ahead of myself. So, 50,000 words for November, and then...

For such a productive day, it was remarkably angsty. I woke at 8, procrastinated for a couple hours, went to yoga, procrastinated for a couple more hours, drove 25 miles south to pick up some mail, and spent over an hour exploring the tide pools of Yachats (this was actually incredibly inspiring) and finally started writing around sunset, after a day of fruitless worry about whether I would ever finish the damn thing.

In other news, I started reading Carl Jung's autobiography "Memories, Dreams, Reflections" which I am already enthralled by, and which I hope will influence the rest of the novel as much as Ursula K Leguin's science fiction influenced the beginning.

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what will happen in book 2: "Ankharra" except that it will involve Anka and her friends becoming lost (not just physically!) in a high tech 26th century city. So, good perhaps that I'll be hitting the road again and spending the next few days exploring the great cities of the Northwest, Portland and Seattle...

words written: 25,023
to be written: 24,977 (?)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 11th, 2009 - NEWPORT

A very good day. Crossed the 20,000 word mark tonight. About 5,000 words since this afternoon. Chapter 4 is done (and long!)

Turning off the internet was a really, really good idea. I publicly declared I was going to do it around 8 AM - still I found myself with pressing and undeniable reasons to be signing on again for about two hours after. Finally I called bullshit on myself and shut the damn thing off.

Immediately, I started a desperate search for other ways to procrastinate. I finished Ursula K. Leguin's magnificent (and melancholy) science fiction novel "The Left Hand of Darkness" (I had read another of Leguin's science fiction novels, "The Eye of the Heron" last month, and it has had a profound effect on the novel I'm writing). I started watching Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen - a film so enraptured in it's own gossamer-glossy eye candy that it is almost visually incomprehensible - but paused it after an hour because I was gagging on the inanity.

Still avoiding the novel, I started work on two short stories "Dr. Plugenart and the Monkeys" about a mad scientist in a jungle who is vexed by a tribe of (possibly super-intelligent) monkeys, and "Owl, Hummingbird, and Butterlfy Versus Two Porcupines" which is exactly what it sounds like. It's nice to have side-projects, especially absurdly comical ones to balance out the more serious writing. And I went for a walk or two on the beach.

All of these were a slippery slope back to writing the novel, however - whether reading or watching science fiction, writing something other than the novel or being out in nature, the true purpose of my stay here could not be blotted out without the torpid lullabies of the internet. So around 2 PM I pushed passed the blocks and got to work.

So far so good.

Incidentally, I have come to the conclusion that 50 degree weather isn't really "cold" so much as "cool". "The Left Hand of Darkness" has three long chapters devoted to two characters crossing a glacier on an ice planet in winter, in consistently sub-zero temperatures. After reading that, the 50 degree beach outside seemed positively balmy by contrast. Besides, I've lived through New York Winters, I should be hardier than this. LA is comfortable it is true ... but I wonder if LA hasn't made me lazy and fat, and only these last few months of intensive fasting and visits to colder climates have put my life back on track...

Now, joy of joys, I shall retire from my computer and finish watching Transformers 2...



Total word count: 21,223
Words to be written: 28,777
Slightly hung over from the Newport write-in last night, which took place at a bar, and because I had some wine when I got back to the house and continued writing on my own. This is not necessarily a bad thing - after writing close to an entire chapter about my characters vision-questing on psychotropic berries in the desert, a little hang-over might help bring things back down to earth.

I'm really happy with the writing that happened last night, ch. 3 really came together.

However, I only wrote about 1200 words yesterday. They were good words, carefully considered. But at that pace, I will not finish by the 30th.

So I'm making a new rule for the rest of my stay: no internet until I've filled my daily quota. And I'm guessing, since that means I'll be writing in the morning, no alcohol either. At least, not until the next write-in held at a bar.

The write-in's really help, by the way. There's something about just being in the presence of other writers who are writing, that really catalyzes the process...

Total word count: 16,232
Words to be written: 33,768

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Character Sketch - Trevor Goodwin

Trevor is the first person Anka came to after discovering the Relic. They are what we would call "best friends." They lost their virginity to each other three years ago, at the harvest festival. Since then, they have remained best friends, never lovers.

He is a thin man, neither a warrior nor a shaman. In some ways though, he lives as both - he is very disciplined, very sensitive. He has an uncanny knack for communing with animals and plants, even whole environments and ecosystems seem to speak to him. Because this sort of ability was common to some degree among all of the tribe's psychics and empaths, it was not initially seen as unusual in Trevor. But his proficiency in this domain, especially as a young adult, is impressive.

He lives in a cliffside cave along the Great Mountains, some distance from the village - yet he is constantly present in the village, and opinionated at the town meetings. He comes and goes from his high perch (which he discovered at the age of 15) via a rope ladder which Anka helped him build. She had helped him build the ladder - but only after he had climbed up to the cave by his own devices, and after the ladder was finished, he climbed the rock wall by his own devices again, to hang it. Physically he is not nearly as strong as Anka, but he prides himself on being able to out-climb her.

Trevor secretly believes that he will be one of the chief elders of the Tribe one day. When Anka made the decision to cross the Wasteland and bring the Relic to Ankharra, Trevor insisted on coming with her. "It will be an initiation," he said.

[I am currently trying to exit and re-enter the Oregon House via rope-ladder at least once a day, to get in touch with Trevor... I feel like that's exactly the eccentric sort of thing a person is supposed to do on a solitary writer's retreat...]
TUESDAY NOVEMBER 10th, NEWPORT

It is gorgeous outside! Forecast for the entire week is rain, but the sky over the ocean is open and blue. It's one of those shallow, gradual beaches, where the waves break in succession a dozen iterations deep, rolling foam half-way to the horizon. Beautiful, but cold - still shy this morning of 50 degrees...

It's funny - I had left yesterday totally blank, an open page - and I did not even make it half-way to my 5000 word goal. I wrote 2000, a respectable day's work, but I'm still not caught up. I talk about being free of distractions here - but the biggest distraction of all - the internet - is ever present. Between email, forums, facebook, and this blog, it is very easy to not write. I may have to start turning it off at some point - and leaving it off for most of the day. Distracting as it is, though - it is great for looking up words and doing research on the fly. I wonder if there's some easy application that can be used to temporarily block non-work related websites...

In any case, I'm checking out a local yoga class in about an hour, and I'll be attending my first Newport write-in tonight. It's nice to have some solid blocks to organize my time around.

TOTAL WORD COUNT: 15,059
Words to be written: 34,941

Monday, November 09, 2009

Excerpt from chapter 4 - concerning the story of the tribe.


IV
Tribe

Dhorma was settled in Earth Common Era year 2446, thereafter known by its people as Dhorma, Year One. It was among the few worlds of Andromeda colonized in the decades after the galactic rift was bridged, before contact with Earth was lost.

These planets were far beyond what had been previously considered ‘remote”’ from the center of Earth's galactic network. Those who chose to settle so far from home invariably did so because they wanted to try their hands at a new way of life altogether. For the groups whose petitions were eventually granted as settlement rights to Dhorma, the life they sought was one where the daily lives and very survival of human beings was entirely independent from modern technology. Their post-tech society, modeled after late 20th century Earth, would no longer be organized around thought-networks and nanotech swarms. Tech would be used to help humans accomplish the work they chose naturally, but never depended upon for that work’s completion. There was increasingly little room to choose this lifestyle within the human cultures of the Milky Way – one could scarcely go to work without interfacing a dozen matrices.

Three separate groups with divergent but compatible philosophies of technology were deposited on the verdant shores along the Ankharra river, with supplies adequate to build a new city. Of these three groups, the tribe led by Deanna McCaden was by far the smallest, and also the least inclined to incorporate any tech whatsoever into the infrastructure of the new city. Deanna and her people held a libertarian and deeply agrarian vision of life on Dhorma – it was not always agreed with by the other settlers, but it was respected, and always considered. Deanna’s tribe did not have a name. “If you need to name it, you don’t know the tribe” was a saying they passed among themselves. Even so, they were a generous and social people who never sought isolation from the other city dwellers, and so they were welcomed wherever they went.

A second, separate colony of anti-tech religious adherents was deposited on an archipelago near the planet’s equator in year five. That settlement was over a thousand miles East, and the soft spoken monks and nuns there sought little contact with the city of Ankharra, which was by that time thriving. A third colony was scheduled to be settled on a continent in the northern hemisphere sometime in Year 17, but that ship never arrived.

It was unknown to the colonies when the scientists and politicians of the Galactic Network first became aware of the existence of the Relics. It was only known to each people when they and their neighbors first became aware that the alien technology was among them. First there were only fantastic rumors, which only the very young could believe. But invariably, the relics would find their way into the cities and towns. In Ankharra, the first recorded object appeared in Dhorma year 11, and many more soon followed. “For a while it seemed like the Andromeda Galaxy had been positively dusted with them,” Deanna McCaden would later recall, “they seemed to turn up with such frequency.”

The objects were a pinnacle of what humans considered engineering. Estimated to be over 5000 years old, they appeared to be indestructible on a molecular level, and somehow interacted with matter and even space-time itself in ways that defied every known model of physics. Whole new fields of science and philosophy were promised.

It was not long after that rumors of fancy became convictions of fear. Too many eyes saw things they could not believe, or worse, things they did not have the words or concepts to describe. Those individuals who tried to study or use the relics would change quickly and dramatically: transmuted personalities, strange new certainties, penchants for thinking in abstractions far beyond the comprehension of their peers. Some literally ‘blew themselves up’, or seemed to, and many others simply disappeared.

The phrase “don’t play with fire” quickly became a somber warning whispered daily across the colonies. When relics were found, they were turned over to the Galactic Network for containment or disposal, immediately.



In Year 14 the most outlandish rumors began to circulate among the Andromeda colonies – that the relics brought back across the galactic divide had created a rift within the inner spheres of the Earth Network- that a civil war had begun that spanned the Milky Way. A war fought by crazed demagogues wielding god-like weapons, proselytizing about the dawn of human evolution. This the elders shook their heads at vehemently – there had been no war among humanity for almost four hundred years. Civil war - and over such trifles! - was inconceivable.

Then all communication from the Milky Way ceased.

Three days later, the local network went dark. The city of Ankharra could make no contact with the Andromeda Armada, nor the other planets of their star system, the science space stations, freight and mining ships, not even the religious colony a thousand miles to the East could be raised. The world around them and the heavens above them grew deathly quiet.

Ankharra was alone. Days turned into weeks, into years. Every day the sun rose over the city, the river ran south, and there was, as ever, work to be done. The panic and despair of the early months of isolation slowly faded, as did the hope that the local network would just as spontaneously come back online, that the Armada would send an envoy, or one of the other colonies a messenger. In time, the people of Ankharra mourned their loss, gave thanks for their continued prosperity, and accepted that they might never know what had become of their brethren in the wide universe beyond.



In Year 24, the Nazul made contact. A predominantly human colony at the edge of the star system, the Nazul had spent the last decade slowly absorbing human settlements and amassing technology, building a new haphazard but effective network as they went. The Armada was gone, they said. It had jumped back across the galactic divide in the hours after the Milky Way went silent, and then it too was beyond their reach. The Network science stations had been evacuated or destroyed.

It was an ironic meeting of worlds, for the Nazul had settled Andromeda for the purpose of using their isolation to foster technological innovation. Philosophically they could not be less compatible with Ankharra. But civility, and joyousness at knowing they were not alone in the universe, made for a rapid allience. The Nazul provided much needed supplies, and tentative trade was established.

By Year 33, the Nazul Network had expanded far beyond the scope of the now decades absent Armada. A formal invitation was made to Ankharra to join the local government and become fully integrated into the Network. The reaction among the Dhorma colony was overwhelming positive

The tribe of Deanna McCaden, long forgotten as being significantly distinct from the other citizens, began gathering to discuss, and then voice, their dissent. While they honored the friendship and good will with the Nazul, the notion of becoming re-integrated into a high-tech society was anathema to them. “Integration means they will bring their tech to us,” Deanna would speak at town hall meetings, “and we will have to accept it in order work and coexist effectively with them. Their economy runs through the medium of technology, and we cannot participate in that economy without participating in the medium. We will be asked to have their software encoded in our brains, so we can interact with their information and security matrices. We will have to start traveling in their flying vehicles, to meet and negotiate and trade with them on their time-tables. We will be asked to place tech on every street-corner for visiting Nazul, as a courtesy to them in navigating our city. Our world will change overnight and our purpose will be lost!”

But it seemed the colonists of Dhorma did not mind a loss of purpose. To live unfettered by technology on the outskirts of a high tech human universe had been a grand experiment – but to live without tech following the collapse of galactic civilization was quite another.

The arguments between the city and the tribe grew in intensity. “If you do this, we will have no choice but the leave our homes,” they said. “If you bring integrative tech into this city, you will be sending us into exile!”

Exile is too strong a word, “replied the leaders of the tech integration movement. “It is incendiary political rhetoric, meant to make them seem the victims of an oppressive majority, instead of opponents to democratic change.”

“It may be rhetoric,” Deanna replied somberly, “but it is also the truth.”



So in the Year 34, Deanna led her people across the river and into the desert, never to return. She was 107 years old at the time.
I may have caught a glimpse of a male protagonist - "Karillion," an engineer and spacetime traveler (I know - uh-oh!). Anka is about to meet him for the first time in a dream. But he knows who she is and doesn't think this is a dream - several days ago. I'm just going to introduce him to the text this afternoon.
Kira had a baby last night! Welcome, Dylan!
MONDAY NOVEMBER 9th, NEWPORT

"6 AM on the 9th day..."

I arrived at the house at the end of a 600 mile journey just after 7:30 PM, and found it cold and dark. The house sits perched on a steep incline above the beach, between a stretch of wide empty coast to the west and the Pacific Coast Highway to the east. It is several miles south of Newport, and initially at least has a "middle of nowhere" feeling - no streetlights - no lights of any kind really, because even the stars and moon are hidden by the near-perpetual rain clouds. One feels engulfed and surrounded by darkness, and wilderness, and cold.

It awakens a primal fear, unusual for me - I who would cross central park alone at midnight, who grew up surrounded by wild darkness in the foothills and canyons above Pasadena, with a backyard that invited deer, coyotes, bobcats, bears. Still, I found myself checking and rechecking the locks, staring out the windows and into an uneasy nothingness. But what is it within yourself you are afraid of? I asked myself. As yet, no answer is forthcoming.

I woke from a nightmare that the house was being invaded by an invisible presence. It was 5 AM, still pitch black outside (it's only just beginning to go blue-grey now, an hour and a half later). Sleep seemed beyond me, and during my October fast I had come into the strange new habit of rising before dawn anyway. So now I sit, wide awake in the darkness, waiting for dawn.

The pressure is palpable today ... having now officially arrived at the "writer's retreat" which has been on the horizon for the last month. For the first time since starting this, I have nothing whatsoever scheduled in my datebook. Meanwhile, I've fallen behind. My goal for the day is to write at least 5000 words. A part of me shakes its head and moans, "Oh Jonathan, Jonathan, why do you get yourself into these situations?"

But I try to remind myself it's a great privilege. To retreat to a remote house on (what will in another hour be) a beautiful beach, and pursue my passion, undistracted. Or at least, significantly less distracted than usual.

The morning is on its way, and for the moment the rain is not coming down hard. I'll go for a walk on the cold, windy beach and watch the day break...

Sunday, November 08, 2009

"Write-Ins on the Road"

Crossed the Oregon border. Left Berkeley at 7 AM to make it to this Ashland write-in ... nobody showed up! Really, Ashland novel writers? I mean, I know, not everybody can devote their whole life to this the way that I am ... but you live in a small town, it's a Sunday afternoon, and you're trying to write a novel in 30 days ... and you don't show up to the write-in? Really?

So I headed 15 miles north to a write-in at Medford which was happening concurrently, and have since written about 300 words ... but here in Medford there seems to be some confusion about whether this is a write-in or a talk-in. I mean, to each his own, but its a little distracting.

Says he who is writing a blog entry during a write-in instead of writing his novel...

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Went to Moe's and found some well priced books of poetry by William Blake and John Donne - two great metaphysical poets - for inspiration.

Tomorrow is the long haul drive - 600 miles from Berkeley to Newport - will stop for 2 hours to attend a write-in in Ashland.

Doing fine on the word count but behind my personal goal. Really need to stop traveling and just plant myself somewhere and write. Should probably be patting myself on the back for getting off to a strong start amidst all the craziness - but I think I'll just feel immensely better when I finally reach the house tomorrow night.
Character Sketch - Tamreh Prescott

A frumpy, bushy haired, green poncho wearing shaman with thick glasses, bearing a superficial resemblance to a cross between an adult Hermione Granger and the occultist Thessaly in Gaiman's "Sandman" series. She's weird and sometimes a little scary.

Tamreh was recognized early as a gifted shaman and healer within the tribe - a veritable golden child. She has been assumed to be the one to replace Pesca as the tribe's medicine woman since she was fifteen.

However, the tribal elders have since become very concerned about Tamreh because she has become a technophile in a tribe founded on independence from technology. Her home is crammed with tech, and she may even own an object which incorporates (or was created using) the forbidden alien technology, the tribe's greatest taboo. Still she's such a good shaman, her disturbingly pro-tech lifestyle has been thus far tolerated.

She is the one who convinced Anka to take the journey across the wasteland ... but on their third night she shocks Anka by breaking the taboo and touching the relic.

She's also apparently a lesbian, but I'm not sure that will be very important to the story.
I think next year I am going to write a murder mystery...

Friday, November 06, 2009

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 6th, BERKELEY

"Berkeley, Berkeley, Take Me In..."

Crossed the 10,000 word mark today amidst pear cider and onion rings at Ralleigh's (now Manny's!) on Telegraph in Berkeley, while it rained gently outside.

Since arriving in Berkeley this morning, I have felt increasingly relaxed and inspired. Meetings with old teachers and discussions about art, commerce, politics, and spirituality help immensely. I feel like I could die of nostalgia here and be reborn. I can't come to Berkeley without feeling like I've got my finger on the pulse of something vital - the secrets of the universe, human potential, my own unrealized self.

Have been working all day on chapter 2 - which departs from the "treacherous-desert-journey-and-dangerous-alien-technology" and goes back in time 5 days to describe a day in the life of Anka in her village, before she finds the "relic."

I really feel like I'm hitting my stride as a writer with this material, describing an entire tribal culture and ecosystem. I worry that it's becoming too "literary" in it's descriptions of peaceful village life and a generosity-based economy - but conversely, I also scratch my head at how much sex there is in this chapter!

With tasteful but detailed prose Anka is described having sex with two different men (her good friend Trevor at the harvest festival years ago, and then her sparring partner Boris in present time, just before she finds the relic.) Anka's sexuality is as much the subject of the chapter as the description of her village. This shocks me somewhat but I don't feel at all like it's moving in the wrong direction - in fact those scenes were the first things about the second chapter to come through clearly.

But isn't this supposed to be a science fiction story about dangerous alien technology? Yes! So then what does Anka's sexuality have to do with anything? I don't know! Ask me again at 20,000 words, maybe I will know then...

I think if I could choose where I would die, I would choose to die in Berkeley.

TOTAL WORD COUNT: 11,007.

Words to be written: 38,993

Thursday, November 05, 2009

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 5th - SANTA CRUZ

"Day 5"

It's funny, I started out saying a few days ago that all a writer can really promise him/herself is space - and that's just what a person often doesn't have on a road trip.

But I locked myself into my sister's apartment today and wrote another 3400 words ... just needed to create the space for it, and I was able to write it.

I don't agree with Julia Cameron ('The Artists Way") about everything, but I do agree with her about this at least: "eventually you will find it is easier to write than not to write" - that being blocked is ultimately more painful than letting the work flow.

I find that is absolutely true for me. Driving around, thinking about the novel but not actually writing it, worrying about how good it is, and whether I'll ever be able to adequately develop all the themes and ideas I'm introducing - is MUCH harder and more miserable than just sitting down and writing the damn thing, during which time I am doing my best to make it as good as I can make it - to address the problems, to develop the ideas - at least then I'm doing something. That's really the best I can promise myself, to keep showing up and do my best in the moment. Any more, any less, is crazy-making.

Chapters 2, 3, and 4 are all off to very good starts ...

Tomorrow, Berkeley!!

TOTAL WORD COUNT 8,462

Words to be written: 41,538

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 4th

I am so tired!

Day started well. I've been doing this 'rise at dawn' thing for several weeks now, so I was thrilled Vanessa was willing to get up early and go walk through the eucalyptus groves and tide pools near her home, where we watched a large group of pelicans diving for a cornered school of fish at Spooners Cove.

Vanessa went to class and I drove North, for breakfast in Cambria. The stretch of California coast from Cambria up through Monterey might be my favorite part of the USA. I filmed elephant seals, hiked along sea-cliffs, and scrawled endlessly in my notebook - developing the outline for the novel and writing some new passages by pen.

Unfortunately I started to stress out as I neared Monterey: I got stuck behind some *really* slow people on PCH and then hit Monterey Bay Area Rush Hour. I was very late to my Monterey 'write-in" and found myself typing furiously to somehow get some official writing done before meeting my sister Katharine for dinner in Santa Cruz. I wrote the opening paragraphs of Chs 3 and 4 (although I still haven't started 2). My therapist would not approve of my stress level today.

I wrote a thousand words for 5106 total. But I should be at 8000 by today. I have to catch up before the end of the week!

This novel needs a serious, honest-to-goodness 8 hour day, and that's what I'm going to give it when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Tuesday, November 3rd

"Out!"

It feels so great to be out of LA and traveling again - seeing the rest (and best!) of California. I'm not even that troubled that I've fallen shamefully behind my word quota. I'm going to lock myself in my sister's apartment in Santa Cruz Thursday and make up for lost time.

Wrote about 600 new words in Santa Barbara today - met a fellow novel writer Teri at a cafe and finished chapter one - ended on a wonderful, ominous note as the characters cross into the wasteland under growing worry that the alien technology is influencing their minds. I've more or less decided that in chapter 2 we'll go five days back in time to the village and see how this all started, and introduce various sexual tensions...

Staying tonight in Los Osos with Vanessa, outside of San Luis Obispo.

Tomorrow, Big Sur!


Total word count: 4182
6 AM on The third day...

Like my characters in the desert, I'm up before dawn. Suddenly want to be out of Los Angeles as soon as possible, and on the road again.

I woke this morning thinking about pressure - there's a lot involved in something like this. This is my second novel, the first one was carefully crafted over the course of more than a year, if not longer. It's not a question of whether I can write a novel in the next 27 days - I know I'll come up with something - it's a question of whether I can write something compelling, entertaining, relevant - even the elusive "good." Something worth the effort in other words.

It's a tall order...

Anyway, I just packed some Tolkein for inspiration...

Monday, November 02, 2009

MONDAY NOVEMBER 2nd, PASADENA

"MINUTIAE AND SPACE"


I did not reach my 4000 word goal tonight. I stopped at 3554, just past the traditional NaNo daily quota of 1700. I've set my personal daily quota at 2000 because I'm losing at least two days to travel (Berkeley to Newport: 10 hours, and vice versa) and I'm flying to Australia at 11 PM on the evening of the 29th - I want to leave myself the option of NOT finishing on the plane.

Today was one of those days when there were just a million things to take care of - you know what it's like just before a 3 week trip - you find yourself re-negotiating and managing your whole life. Last minute hostel reservations, dinner and coffee dates, and (in my case) writing meetings, supplies, groceries, packing, one last visit to the gym, and then all the stuff you're leaving behind - emails, projects, deadlines, scanning and sending, film festival applications, putting together a quick film showcase reel for Colleen as a favor, etc ... not to mention burning books-on-tape, printing a thick wad of mapquest directions, gathering books and maps...

But all that aside, by mid-afternoon I realized I was seriously procrastinating. There is (not surprisingly) a small, frozen terrified part of me whose agenda is as follows: do not go through with this. and the longer this novel-writing goes on, the more pressure there will be to keep it going.

As the sky was beginning to turn orange, I set myself up on the back patio and started allowing new words to matriculate into the manuscript. At the end of the day, I believe all you can guarantee yourself is the space to write. Writing takes time, it is true, but Einstein postulated that space-time is a single inseparable continuum, and I think writing also needs space. And the space has to be revered - it has to be impregnable, in a sense, immune to minutiae & other people's agendas - but still dynamic, pliable, open to inspiration. In a sense, the space has to be "sacred."

The whole story turned very conversational all of a sudden. Tamreh touched the alien tech (big taboo) and Anka freaked out. Then they shared a quasi-lesbian moment that I found confusing.

Now I have to go finish that reel for Colleen and also the film festival application for Autodoc to SXSW - those were the things I put off when I stopped procrastinating.

Writing in my parent's house is hard! (I just moved my stuff here from my Hollywood apartment, since I'll be traveling for the rest of the year, and with a little luck, on into January).

Thank God I'm finally hitting the road tomorrow...


TOTAL WORD COUNT: 3554

Words to be written: 46,446
Character Sketch - Anka Enora Aelgon

Anka is a young woman from the coastal wetlands village on the far side of the desert. She's the muscle of the group - trained as a "warrior" in the tradition of her tribe since puberty, which includes actual combat training along with meditation, cognitive exercises, and physical yoga-like discipline. So she's very grounded, strong, and more mundane and earthy than her current traveling companions. Although she's in terrific physical and mental shape from her training, she will struggle with the realization that all her "peaceful warrior" training has not adequately prepared her for the gritty realities of an actual life-and-death fight.

As a female warrior she's definitely developed her masculine side. But as she develops I'd like to see another part of her - "the girl" which she hasn't fully integrated - she hates this part of herself, because it contains her weakness and doubt. In the long run, I want to develop and deepen her feminine side as a woman (not just a "girl") - and I think at some point certain characters will begin to refer to her by her middle name "Enora" as a part of this change.

Maybe she will develop a mind blowing feminine super power. Too soon to tell...

Sunday, November 01, 2009

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 1st

"Day One"


7:54 AM

Woke early with a mild hang-over. Feeling optimistic. I still don't know what the novel is going to be about. I'll start the morning out with some brain-storming/inspiration-mapping and see where it goes. My first write-in is over at Cal-Tech from 10-2 PM, where I'll get to meet some fellow novel writers.

Don't want to spend all day on this though - there's a lot to do before I skip town. My goal is to hit my 2000 word goal by lunchtime.

9:38 AM

Starting is hard! I started by jotting down ideas, and about half of them suddenly seemed so cliche to me - like, "that's from Star Wars, that's from Lord of the Rings, that's from Harry Potter. There's so much pressure on that first page, it feels like the foundation, which you're going to build this whole thing on. I gave myself permission to write passages out of order - so I can move today's writig to the middle and come up with a new beginning down the line, if need be.

Brainstorming was starting to feel pretty abstract, and Inspiration wasn't striking, so I just started writing to see what came out. (One of the mains points of this is to push through perfectionism and other forms of writer's block, and just let the creativity flow). So I've got someone named Anka with blistered feet traveling through the desert by foot.

I feel like I'm totally procrastinating by writing this blog entry. I'm going to head over to the write-in at Cal Tech and hunker down. 255 words written, 1745 words to go...

3:54 PM -

Reaching my quota by lunch turned out to be pretty unrealistic, mostly because It took a while for me to even figure out what was going on. I have three characters crossing a treacherous desert, delivering a piece of forbidden, alien technology from their village to the city, from which their tribe was exiled 50 years before.

So far so good. It's rough but I like the world I'm creating.

Total word count for the day: 2058

47942 words to write...

Saturday, October 31, 2009

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31st 2009

"IT BEGINS"


Tomorrow I am going to start writing a novel. It's part of national novel writing month - which I only looked into a couple days ago: beginning this novel tomorrow is a pretty recent development. I have no idea yet what it is going to be about. I guess I'll find out tomorrow morning. I'm thinking a science fiction fantasy epic, but feel it would be somehow premature to guess.

I have 30 days to finish - participants in NaNoWriMo start writing their novels on November 1st, and have to complete and upload a 50,000 word manuscript by midnight, November 30th. This to me sounds like great fun.

During most of my writing process, I'll be traveling. I embark from Los Angeles Tuesday for a writing retreat in a beach house on the Oregon coast, part of a road trip through Northern California and the Pacific Northwest. I'll be joining novelist "write-ins" in Monterey, Santa Cruz, Berkeley, Newport, Portland, and Seattle - creative hotbeds of furious writing to meet the November Deadline.

I've also registered with a NaNo group in Melbourne Australia, where I'll be attending the Parliament of World Religions in December - I assume those who cross the finish line will gather in December for editing sessions, and I plan to be among them with my science fiction fantasy epic - or whatever other earth shaking piece of writing hath graced my pen.

It all feels sort of unreal to me at the moment. But exciting, like a leap into the unknown...